Evilzug.com » Ouch

~ PUPPETRY OF THE PENIS ~

Thomas Mannino — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:00:33 +0000

I had heard of this before, but they are in LA now, performing until March 14th…

Some advice for the ladies about shoes

Thomas Mannino — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 10:25:09 +0000

If we go out on a date and are going to be doing ANY WALKING, don’t fucking wear shitty shoes and then complain about it, because it makes you look ugly. The visual benefit the nice shoes give you do not outweigh the whining, complaining, or apparent discomfort they are giving you. Seriously. Of COURSE your feet are killing you, you are wearing the equivalent of a board with a nail on it on your foot.

I would much rather you be comfortable, even in ugly shoes, then wear ‘nice’ shoes and be mreh. I don’t know if I speak on behalf of guys everywhere, but I assume I am. Can I get a what what?

However, I understand the whole “beauty is pain” thing.

This is directed at no one in particular, of course, I was just chatting it up about girls and their shoes with my homie NaiaMuffinQi. Yeah, I’m manly, I talk about shoes.

The Role Play Tournament

Thomas Mannino — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 06:20:51 +0000

Shit’s tight.

Gary Gygax

Thomas Mannino — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 18:17:38 +0000

It is almost too much to get my mind about. But I’ve just had news that our dear Dungeon Master has passed away. Ernie called this morning, he thought we should let the fans know. He’s just sent an email out.

Gary was in his home when he gathered himself up to cross the great divide.

He was a very dear friend of mine. And I will miss him so.

God Speed My Friend.

Steve

;-; RIP

/ducks

Thomas Mannino — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 22:56:37 +0000

When you’re done reading this, make me a sammich too pls.

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.

School to approve bullying policy

Thomas Mannino — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 17:33:15 +0000

A group of boys has been involved in bullying others, and officials said their actions have included physical attacks, taunting and sexually harassing victims by making their crotches touch other boys’ heads while fully clothed — something apparently inspired by the Halo video game series, in which players can perform a posturing move over a defeated enemy.

Yessssssssssssssssss

Heath Ledger is Dead

Thomas Mannino — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 21:55:02 +0000

TMZ has learned that Academy Award nominee Heath Ledger has died in NY.

He was found dead in his bed in one of his residences in Soho by his housekeeper at 3:35 PM ET today. Law enforcement sources tell TMZ they believe it was not a crime.

The 28-year-old actor has a two year old daughter with former fiancee Michelle Williams. He was set to play the Joker in the upcoming Batman film “The Dark Knight.”

Story developing…

Charlie bit my finger – again !

Thomas Mannino — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:19:31 +0000

The comic timing of this is almost too perfect… Poor little guy, hahaha… He’s still nice to him after almost losing a finger…

Edit: sure enough, it’s a meme, 3mil+ views

Vassar Quidditch Team

Thomas Mannino — Tue, 04 Dec 2007 18:30:15 +0000

Kind of a cool idea, until someone gets impaled or loses their nuts to a broom handle.

curiosity

Thomas Mannino — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:36:53 +0000

No related posts.